I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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