Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
