He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
