You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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