I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
worst night to have a conscience
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
