Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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