I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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