What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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