something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
