I will die if light touches me.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
