So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
