Porn is love you can see.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
