how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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