Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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