i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We have started to decorate penises.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
