I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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