Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
