You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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