tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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