definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
