I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
