I seem to have left my pride at pride
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
