Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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