the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize