1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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