i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
