No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
