i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
