can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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