Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im six kinds of drunk right now
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
