To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Farmville is her only friend.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
