someone owes me an orgasm
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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