i was born a porn star she said
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize