Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
