every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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