weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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