do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
