Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
