I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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