YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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