two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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