so explain again why im purple
no
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize