I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
