With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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