Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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