I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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