More tranny stories later!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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