Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That accounts for only three of the penises
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize