I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
