All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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