Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
