Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
