Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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