Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
