We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
