While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
