WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
