Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
