heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize